How to Split Up Household Chores and Avoid Divorce

Does the division of household labor in a marriage indicate whether it is more likely to end in divorce?  A recent Norwegian study suggests that it might.

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The study, titled “Equality in the Home,” found that couples who contributed equally to housework had a 50% higher chance of divorce than households where the wife performed most of the work.  But if a man performs less housework, does this cause a decrease in the likelihood of divorce?  The researchers do not believe so. They believe the results show a correlation between men doing more housework and more divorces, but not that the division of housework causes divorce.  According to the researchers, more modern ideas about gender roles lead to more men performing housework, and the decreasing sanctity of marriage leads to a higher rate of divorce.  They also note that women’s increasing financial independence makes partners less willing to preserve a marriage when either can support him or herself.  Nevertheless, the researchers claimed that misunderstanding of household duties or lack of satisfaction with a spouse’s performance of them could create trouble in a marriage.

Women still account for most household work.  The above study found that women performed most of the household functions in seven of 10 homes.  A study published in June in the journal PLoS ONE found that 56% of female participants and just 9% of male participants reported that they did more than half of the domestic duties in their houses.  Further, 14% of women and 9% of men reported performing all of the housework.  This study also focused on the role of household labor in increasing stress.  Regardless of whether a husband and wife were on roughly equal salary and socioeconomic footings, the wife reported more distress when she did the bulk of the housework.      

But shouldn’t an equal division of labor be more conducive to a happier marriage by enabling each partner to feel he or she has an equal position?  A study from the University of Cambridge found that men who contribute more to housework are happier and their marriages suffer less conflict.  Similarly, a University of Ontario study concluded that married couples who shared both paid and unpaid work more equally reported higher levels of satisfaction than couples who did not share equally. 

Given all of these findings, the Norwegian study probably doesn’t tell us much about successful marriages.  Ultimately, the division of household chores seems to be a relatively minor issue because although studies show it correlates with higher rates of divorce, it also seems to cause or correlate with higher levels of marital satisfaction. It simply doesn’t make sense that whether a husband does 50% of the housework or 10% will dictate a marriage’s success, given more significant concerns like romance, respect, sex, finances, and family obligations.  An unfair division of labor could signal a lack of respect among partners, which could be a more serious issue than the division of work itself.  But unequal division of labor and higher divorce probably just coincide because of changing perspectives about gender roles and marriage.    

Rupert Murdoch Divorce

Rupert Murdoch has the distinction paying out what is reportedly the biggest divorce settlement in history, a phenomenal $1.7 billion to Anna Murdoch, his wife of 32 years, and the mother of three of his children.

No need to worry about Rupert applying for food stamps any time soon, as Murdoch is still worth about $4 billion.

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Not one to waste time, Rupert married the brilliant and beautiful Wendi Deng just seventeen days after the ink was dry on the divorce papers in 1999. Wendi is 38 years Rupert’s junior, and when not busy defending Rupert from would be pie-throwers, she found the time to bear him two more children. And, almost as if to show that two can play at this game, Anna turned around and married investor William Mann a few short months later. So there, Mr. Murdoch.

The couple has been pretty careful not to fan the flames of publicity about the divorce, and Anna only broke her initial silence three years after the fact to "Australian Women's Weekly.” As per Anna, the man she fell in love with back in 1967 "died a long time ago." She placed the blame for the split-up squarely on Rupert’s shoulders by persisting in his affair Wendi.

Moreover, Anna’s not through with our hero just yet, as she proved determined to protect the interest of the three kids she brought into the world with Rupert. The terms of the 1999 divorce settlement were written to insure the interests of those children, and Anna has adamantly asserted that all three of them would have to approve any changes of the rules and bylaws that control the trust that runs a large part of the Murdoch Empire. Reportedly, the three children don’t mind sharing the wealth with their half-siblings, but in true Murdoch fashion, they will not yield an inch on control and governance.

Common Legal Issues With Divorce

Thinking of filing a divorce? There are 7 steps that you need to follow. As the process varies from one couple to another, depending on the condition of both parties, there are some important processes you need to follow in filing for a divorce. One thing is for sure, couples who want a divorce can make it easier if you both agree on certain issues.

The first step is to file a petition for divorce. It is not necessary that both parties agree on a divorce, one party should file the petition that mentions the reasons for divorce. A no fault grounds might be possible. This states that the relationship is no longer feasible through irreconcilable differences. There are lots of states that permit this, some areas still consider grounds for divorce including adultery.

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The next step is a temporary order. This is to reques temporary child support, financial support and custody. This is awarded a few days after a petition is filed, and its effectivity will last until a formal court hearing. One party should file this ASAP .

The service of process will follow any type of motion, order, request for petition, etc. This is to ascertain that the petition has been forwarded to the other party. The other party should respond.  He or she should file a response to the petition, and is permitted to either argue the grounds or protect herself or himself from them. Dispute about a property or custody division must likewise be filed with the response.

The next step is a negotiation for the custody and division of property. The court normally allows the couple and their lawyers to handle this, but in case they cannot agree on anything, the court needs to decide on their behalf.The social workers usually manage the children. The court will call them and ask them to check on the conditions of every spouse to determine which party the children should go. A trial will be set-up, to clear things the couple could not resolve on their own.

Lastly, an order of resolution is provided, which ends the marriage and includes the division of debts and property. If the couple has discussed these concerns on their own, they can make their own order of resolution and forward it to the court. If it completes the requirements, the judge will approve it.

If in case the divorce is contested, the parties cannot agree on the issues involved in their specific situation. Popular areas of disagreement include child custody, separation of the assets of the marriage, expense of family debts, alimony (child support), figuring out the children’s education costs, income tax structuring, disbursement of health insurance for the dependent spouse and others.
Once the case is filed, an ID number is assigned and is believed by the judge to be a matter which will definitely require trial time to be able to solve the concerns. Divorce cases are usually called for trial in which the petition was filed.

Things to Know Before You Divorce

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If you decide to have a divorce, you will have to face the truth. For those who are not aware alimony payments is the term given to monthly support payments to the other spouse in the US divorce system. And if you earn a good amount of money, more than your spouse, there is a better chance you will be asked to pay for some alimony. Besides, alimony usually is not allowed for short marriages or if you and your spouse earn the same amount. 

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If the court has ordered alimony, you will typically have to pay a certain amount every month until:

·      A date assigned by the judge, for a specific number of years

·      Your past spouse re-marries

·      Your children do not require a full-time parent at home

·      A judge decides that after enough time, your spouse was not able to become self-supporting

·      Other events like retirement, takes place persuading a judge to change the amount paid

·      One of the spouses dies.

With regards to divorce issues, you and your spouse may agree to the length of time and the amount of the alimony to be paid. However, if you cannot decide, a court will make the terms for you. Unluckily, letting the court decide means that you are required to attend the trial, and that may cost you a lot of money and time.

If you anticipate to pay alimony. The truth about paying alimony – commonly known in some areas as “maintenance or spousal support” – to your past spouse does not amount to achieving that you are a bad individual. Think of it as part of the cost of getting a marriage that you thought that will last forever, but  because of several factors, it didn’t work out. Alimony is a law that has existed for more than one hundred years, and it is being ordered less often nowadays. There is no clue why courts nowadays are awarding less often.  

If you anticipate getting alimony. If you are wondering whether you will qualify for alimony, you can get an approximate idea based on your own capacity to earn – which is not actually what you are getting during the hearing. This is taken into account with your spouses earnings and other factors during the marriage.  

You might also need to make some changes in your work and lifestyle. For instance, if you have a part-time job that does not pay well, you might be asked to find a full-time job in a better paying field. Vocational evaluators are being hired to provide the court with reports on both parties of a divorce to determine a fair alimony award. 

In case your spouse does not want to pay. Lastly, if you get an order of the court for alimony but your spouse does not want to make the necessary payments, get immediate legal help to impose the order via contempt a trial or through an earnings assignment order. The court will release order that requires the spouse to pay monthly alimony.  

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Divorcing With Property

Legalities Involving Property Issues in Divorce

If a couple decides to have a divorce then they also need to decide about their property. This is a very vital subject of divorce. The conjugal property needs to be divided among the two owners. But, there are some states which allow the couples to keep the non-conjugal property with them. Non-conjugal property includes the following:

·      Inheritance

·      Business(es) owned

·      Gifts received before marriage

However, if the non-conjugal property is combined with the conjugal property it may or may not become part of the marital property.

There are instances where a couple divides the property without the need of a lawyer. But, the final contract regarding the division of property needs to be passed by the judge. Basically, the judge has the final say on whatever the couple has decided with regards to their property. However, if the judge or court thinks that one individual has a greater share of property, then the judge needs to investigate this matter to make sure that no one is taking advantage of the other party. If the couple was not able to decide on the property division, then the argument needs to be taken to the judge.

The one divorcing should create a list of property which includes parity in the estate, other real property that includes marital estate, business property, personal property which includes home furniture, rental property, undeveloped land, sole proprietorship, professional practices, vacation home and others.

Under the financial assets this includes the retirement benefits, hidden assets and debts, bonds and funds, and stocks. Once listing the property is done, the couple must then estimate their property value and deduct the debts and then divide it equally between themselves. In case the couple was not able to solve the property issue then the court will make a final decision.  

Property can be classified as community property and equitable sharing. The court divides the property by awarding a particular percentage of the total worth of property to both parties. The community property is the property of a married individual that includes all the earnings acquired during marriage and all the things purchased by those earnings.

Earnings and assets acquired during marriage are equitably and fairly shared among the couple once the divorce is granted. The debts as well as other monetary obligations are likewise divided equitably. The separate property stays separate after divorce and is given to the owner of the property.

Another essential concern during divorce is that who among the couple will have the right to stay in the house. The spouse which has more time for their kids will normally have the right to live in that house once the divorce is granted. In case they don’t have children and the house is a conjugal property then no one has the right to force the other to leave the house since they actually have the same legal right to stay in that house. If it involves marital violence as well as other important issues then the court can take the concerned individual out of the property. However, if the house is a property bought before marriage then the owner will have the right to stay in the house.

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Couples Having Doubts About Marriage

A new study published by the Journal of Family Psychology shows that premarital doubts correlate with an increased rate of divorce.

Examining 232 wedded couples over four years, the study revealed that women who had doubts about marrying were 2.5 times more likely to divorce their husbands than women who did not.  The study asked participants simply whether they were ever hesitant or uncertain about marriage.  About 47% of men answered “yes” and about 38% of women did too.  In addition, the study found that 38% of couples did not have marital doubts.

Although the study is interesting, its informative value is questionable.  First, wouldn’t one expect 95% of people to have doubts about marriage?  Taking vows is one of the most important decisions one can make – you choose to share your life with another person and assume weighty responsibilities.  Marriage can work wonderfully, or it can devastate your life.  It might lead to having children – another life altering event – or ending in an acrimonious and costly divorce.  Plus, everyone has heard about awful marriage experiences and most know that the divorce rate has climbed to around 50%.  Realistically, given the range of sweeping transformations marriage brings, wouldn’t any sane person hesitate or be uncertain about whether to marry?

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Further, the researchers did not ask the subjects anything more specific than simply whether they had doubts about marriage before they took the plunge.  It might have been more useful to ask what specific doubts the participants held.  For example, whether the person doubted that her partner would make a good husband, or whether she thought he might not make a good father.  Or, they could have asked whether a partner doubted that his spouse could carry her financial burden or would ever want kids.  By informing us better about the specific types of doubt the couples had and linking those types to divorce rates, the study could have told us more about why marriages fail.  In addition, it might help to know whether the person had doubts about the institution of marriage itself and whether this belief was associated with a higher rate of divorce.  Finally, it would have been informative for the researchers to note the age when each couple married.  Because couples who marry younger are more likely to divorce, noting their ages would help eliminate the divorces that resulted largely from marrying too young.  In turn, this might increase the accuracy of the findings.    

Despites the study’s informational deficiencies, bearing sincere doubt about your upcoming marriage probably does indicate that it is more likely to end in divorce.  Another study published in the Journal of Family Issues supports this thesis as well, finding that couples who strongly believed in the institution of marriage were more likely to enjoy a happier marriage with less conflict than their counterparts.

Based on the two studies, it’s safe to conclude that someone should think carefully about any doubts he has before marrying and whether the couple can resolve them. 

               

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